7dp3dt

I had my first cry of my IVF cycle this morning. Truth be told I thought I'd be a nutcase the entire cycle while on all these meds, but surprisingly they didn't affect me much. This morning was rough because I had my usual spotting. I have this every cycle I'm not pregnant so to have anything that follows my "usual" cycle upsets me. I told John most like this cycle was a bust and I shed a few tears. Nothing big, but the thought of this not working is devastating. We have everything invested in IVF-emotionally and financially. What if it doesn't work? Well, I guess we cut our losses and move on. Scary thought.

8dp3dt
Saturday morning I had a tiny bit of spotting which concerned me since it follows the pattern of a regular cycle. I let it go, trying to stay positive, but Saturday evening I had more spotting. That night I slept about 2.5 hours and tested at 3:45 am...NEGATIVE with LOTS of spotting. Typical. Period should be here by Tuesday is my guess. I'm kind of numb right now. I lost it last night because I just knew it was over. This morning I've been researching how much time is best between IVF cycles. I'm thinking I'll take December off and go for a February transfer. I just hope it goes better than this last cycle. I was terribly disappointed with how I responded. Nothing else to say for now.