Reminiscing

To be honest I don't think reminiscing is the appropriate word to use here, although being in the place I am now I think it's fitting. The other day as I was playing with Jameson I suddenly had a flash back to three years ago. I was recovering from an ectopic pregnancy. We had been trying to get pregnant for nearly three years at that point and early July it FINALLY happened. We were over the moon excited. Unfortunately it was short lived because a couple weeks later we found it was an ectopic pregnancy. Now, to lose a pregnancy is hard enough, but an ectopic pregnancy is its own little version of Hell. Thankfully I was a good candidate for Methotrexate and avoided surgery. So for the rest of the summer I would take the boys to the pool and sweat while I watched them play since I couldn't swim. On top of not being able to swim or run, or do anything strenuous for that matter, I had to run up to the hospital every other day for blood draws to ensure that my HCG levels were dropping steadily...albeit slowly.
It was terribly frustrating, but the one ray of light that came from it was hope. I had gotten pregnant so maybe it would happen again. At this point I began shopping again and building my stash of cloth diapers. I just knew it would happen anytime now. Well a year went by, we did more treatments and IUI's and nothing.
So two years ago at this time we began entertaining the thought of IVF. We were sure it would work. Well after thousands of dollars of repeated fertility testing with an RE and another IUI, we spent our life savings on IVF. Didn't work. We were planning another IVF in early 2012 but ultimately decided against it.
About this time last year I called my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and told him what medication I wanted to try next as a last ditch effort before we threw in the towel for good. He agreed to let me try it for three months only. So I took it the first month and nothing. Still hopeful I took it the second month and what do you know...JAMESON came into existence! We love him to pieces and still feel overwhelmingly thankful to have him in our family. It's hard to explain, but he just filled a gap in our family. We knew without a doubt there was one more for us. It wasn't just that we wanted another sweet little baby, we knew there was another one.
Now we get to just enjoy life. It's been a crazy expensive few years. Not only did we spend everything on fertility treatments, we have a high deductible insurance plan and spent a nice chunk on hospital bills, then our engine goes out and ouch. So John will be working lots and lots of side jobs to help recover financially, but we're thankful he has the option.
We're heading up to Fruityland for our annual family weekend, but we just got our truck back and cannot tow for 1500 miles. John's sister generously offered us their truck for the weekend so yay, we still get to go. But with needing so many miles I think fall camping may be out for the year. Typically we drive 2-300 a month on each vehicle so I think we'll aim for Spring camping.
Completely off topic, but I had to take a picture of Jameson in this outfit before he outgrows it since it is my absolute favorite outfit on him. I would pay big money (if I had any :) to find one in a larger size. At his two month appointment Jameson was my lightest baby yet. He was 23.5", 12lb, and his head was still in the 49th percentile. I'm a bit shocked since Carson was 12lb 15oz at this point, but shorter and chubbier. It is so much fun to dress Jameson in some of these baby clothes I bought four and five years ago in anticipation of having another baby boy. Six years ago when we first started trying I had no idea what we were in for. Looking at my little Jameson I can honestly say it was all worth it and truthfully, at least we were prepared for his arrival.
Another thing I am thankful for is getting my body back to normal. Sure I still have a lot of weight to lose, but to not be pumping my body full of hormones is wonderful. I'm happily feeling normal again...not that I was too off, but artificial hormones make me feel a little wonky and make me gain weight...another reason I have so much to lose. All those treatments made me gain a good ten pounds before I ever got pregnant.
Oh and I finally pulled out my old baby jogger I used with Carson. I have so many great memories with this jogger. When we had our condo on Vine Street I used to strap my little baby Carson in every morning and go for a run. After our run I'd put on our suits and we'd play in the pool where Carson would ALWAYS fall asleep on my shoulder. I'd spend the morning slowly walking around the pool (which we always had to ourselves) enjoying my baby and the cool water after a hot run.
To be running with the same jogger, with a baby that still looks similar to Carson is fun, for lack a better word. Sure, it's way too hot and I struggle way too much, but I love being out there with him. Yesterday he was awake and looking around the whole three miles, but this morning he slept through at least three of the four long, hot, painful miles. I just love taking him out with me. It's like I'm stepping back in time to nine years ago...maybe I should go run my old loop around the condo and see how strange it feels.
Landon lost his front tooth on Wednesday and looks so cute, and I even remembered to play Tooth Fairy this time. Phew! Just need to remember to snap a picture.